I Wish You'd Stay
by MoonlightGardenias
Summary: I needed to write this. I had to. Addex, before Addy leaves for Los Angeles. Because who knows what they will give us.


**Author's Note: I really don't know why I'm writing this. Because the idea actually literally makes me cry. But the Addex shipper in me is trying to stay strong. I have hope that Addy will come back to Seattle one day. But I hope she's at least in the premiere, if for nothing but good bye. :(.**

**Leave reviews, please! They let me know that what I'm doing isn't in vein.**

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Alex stared at the surgical dry erase board-the one that had all the surgeries scheduled and stood in shock. He'd heard word that morning but still couldn't find it within himself to believe it. Addison was leaving. 

Leaving.

Not just going on vacation, or even a sabbatical. Leaving. Leaving Seattle, leaving the hospital. Leaving _him._ Alex knew he didn't really have a right to say that, especially after the way he left things with her. Still, he felt different after he made it clear he wasn't interested in anything more than a rendevous in the on-call room. Sighing, he turned his head, realizing that someone was standing next to him.

As his eyes met hers, his breath grew sharp in his chest. He saw sadness echoing in her eyes, and it looked like she had been crying.

"So I guess you heard..."Addison said, a box in one hand, bag thrown over her shoulder.

"Yeah. Why Los Angeles?"Alex asked, his hand in his pocket.

Addison shook her head, drawing in a deep breath. "My friend owns a private practice down there. I'll be working there with her."

"That's good. It's..good."Alex said, not having the strength to have anything else to say. "It'll be a change."

"Oh, I know. It won't rain everyday...the wind won't be like ice chilling me."She offered a sad smile. "You could...walk me out if you wanted. I've already said my good byes."

"You mean Shepherd and Sloan are letting you leave without protest?"Alex asked, laughing a little.

"Derek...he kind of expected it. Mark-"Addison said, fighting back against the lump in her throat. "Just stared at me like I had a big bug on my face. It'll take him a while, but I'm sure he'll move on to the next scrub nurse or something."

"The dude followed you out here, you think he'd cheat on you with a scrub nurse?"Alex asked. "Well, he wouldn't be cheating, but..."

Addison shook her head, sighing. "I didn't expect it to be hard."

"Yeah, well...Seattle gets to you."Alex said, trying to keep a smile on. "Can I take you up on that walk?"

Addison nodded, shifting the box in her arms. She waved at the nurses, offering a hug to an old co worker whom she'd grown close to. As she walked out the glass doors of Seattle Grace, everything seemed like it had changed already. The sky seemed a darker shade of gray, almost like it was especially for her. The grass was a darker green, and the front lawn was complete with an intern puking after having run out, unable to take the stress.

They walked in silence until they reached her car. She stood there, trying as best she could to hold back any tears. Opening the passenger side door, she slid the bag and box in. Shutting the door, she turned back to Alex. "Good...bye I guess?"

"Yeah."Alex said, nodding. He wanted to do something, anything he could. If only he could make her stay. Truth be told, he was kicking himself for anything mean he had ever said to her. "Bye, Addison."

She walked to the driver's side door only to see him still standing there. "Hey, Alex?"

"Yeah?"Alex asked, mustering up the strength to look at her.

"I um...I recommended you. For a resident position. I just...I figured you were still interested. And you're really good. But I'll understand if you want to go for plastics."

"Oh, no...I'm...I'm staying. In neonatal, I mean."Alex replied sadly.

Addison forced a smile, moving a strand of hair out of her face. "I hope you do well. You've got a lot of talent, Karev. Just...don't cave in. You know, if...Mark says anything to you. He's an arrogant-"Addison trailed off, shrugging. "Anyway...I should probably get going. I've got to pick up the rest of my things from the hotel room."

"You're leaving tonight?"Alex asked, concerned.

"It makes everything easier. I've got a red eye, so..."She said, avoiding his gaze. She doesn't want to see it-what she knows will be there. While he made it clear there would be nothing between them, she knows Alex feels some sort of obligation towards her.

Alex nodded, ignoring the sting of the cold night air. "Well..."

"Uh, yeah-"Addison said, wiping away a tear. "I've gotta go."She continued, using the open driver's door as a means of a security blanket. He couldn't make it past it-and if he tried, well...she closed her eyes, sighing. "Goodbye, Alex."

He smiles, thought not to convincingly. "Is there anything I can say?"

"What?"She asked.

"To-"Alex started, feeling a sudden panic. "To make you stay."

"No."Addison said, laughing. "I've already confirmed my position. I've been told that my office is ready."

"Well, I guess since that's-"

"Alex..."Addison said, feeling the words in her mouth. She knows she should say something. Do something. Anything than stalling, wanting nothing more than to stay right there with him. Slowly, Addison released her grip on the door, inching her way towards him. She studied the look in his eyes, the way they seemed to be clearly hurting, wounded.

"It won't be the same without you, Addison."Alex said, finding the pain of her leaving all too real.

Addison closed her eyes against the emotion. Choking back a sob, she whispered. "I know."-Her hand reached up, patting his shoulder before moving to his cheek. It remained still, her hand against his cheek. It surprised her-how much she was going to miss him. He had always been the cocky one...the one who made edgy comments, and lied about wanting to be a part of her team. Still, he had defended her. He helped her. He was there for her, numbing her pain when noone else could.

Alex's tongue darted out, wetting his lip. He wtached the way Addison studied him, not willing to break their physical contact. He swopped down, claiming her mouth with his. Running his tongue over her lips, he begged-pleaded if anything for entry. While he was aare it couldn't-wouldn't help anything...he needed to.

Addison fought a sigh, knowing she couldn't do this. But she gave in, she opened her mouth, greedily taking his in. She placed her other hand against the other side of his face, shivering as she felt his arms wrap around her. It felt good-safe insdie of Alex's arms. His hands moved against the green silk of her shirt, created a friction. As she felt her lips roam against his, she felt something inside of her break. Addison realized then that nothing would ever be the same.

Reluctantly pulling back, Alex moved the hair out of her face, rubbing away a tear with his thumb. He fought, frantically searching for words.

Her eyes searched his. Though she knew the deed had been done, that she would leave it hurt. In that moment, she foolishly believed that whatever he said next could decide her fate. She'd make her absolute decision. Closing her eyes, Addison felt the emotion of the moment wash over her. Her hands slowly fell as she gave a resounding nod. "If you're ever in Los Angeles...just look me up."

Alex nodded, trying to keep his emotions in check. "I'll be sure to do that."

Knowing if she staye dthat close to him any longer she'd want even more to stay, Addison walked backward towards the door. She opened it again, looking back at him. Smiling, she started to get in.

"Hey, Addison?"Alex said, waiting for a reaction.

She looked up, eyes expectant. "Alex?"

He nodded, looking down at the ground before he looked back at the woman who had single handedly turned his world upside down. "I wish...I just-"He shook his head, biting his lip. Taking a deep breath, he looked back at her. Shrugging, Alex Karev had never felt more vulnerable. "I wish you'd stay."

Addison bit her tongue, feeling the tears begin to cloud her eyes. "I have to go. But...thanks. Good luck."

And with that, Addison nodded, fully climbing in the car. She looked back at him, waving at him through the windshield. Taking another long look at the front of Seattle Grace Hospital, she thought about the reason she came, and the reason she was leaving. She thought about how much had changed-how much she herself had changed. Coming in, she didn't want to be there. But now that she knew she was leaving, Addison had trouble saying goodbye.

Nodding, Alex watched as Addison pulled out, keeping his eyes glued to her tailights. It was strange-the hollow, dull ache he felt inside. Addison's tailights slowly melted in with everything else, but Alex stood in the parking lot, slowly trying to process what had happened. When she arrived, he wanted her gone. When she left, Alex couldn't help but wish she'd stay.

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**So that's it. Thats's what the addex shippers deserve...or some variety of that. Actually, what they really deserve is actual Addex-but Addy is leaving, so...Anyway, leave me a review. I'm trying my best to keep the Addex love alive. (Love goes out to all of those suffering right here with me...we've suffered. But who knows what will happen next?)-also, while the title is from a Brad Paisley song, the song that I imagine playing during the scene is, strangely enough, Chasing Cars. Apoligies. Review, please!**


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